The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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