I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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