Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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