Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
