I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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