Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
