i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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