the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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