He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm just crazy horny about you
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
