All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Too much gin, very little bucket
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
