some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
