can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
