Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
