I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
