Cold hands, warm shart.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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