just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
