She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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