why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
