Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
