I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
