i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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