Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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