dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
