My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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