we have pet lesbian snakes
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm just crazy horny about you
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
