Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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