walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
