no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
