CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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