I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
