he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
