When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Randomize
