he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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