plz talk dirty to me
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
