LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
