So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
