Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
