i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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