he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
