Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
