I can text with my tongue
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
