you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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