This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
