would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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