I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
