You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
