What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
