went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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