Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize