have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
two words: eviction party
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
