She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
