just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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