i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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