id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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