You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
