I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
