She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
