I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
