I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize