whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
