He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
