I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I can't put those talents on a resume
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
