I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
