i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
