Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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