I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
