I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
