I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
