my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize