im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
There's always time for handjobs
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
