no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
