A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
