he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you win again, gameday.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
